~Programmer's Blues~

OMG!!! (Just taking a break!)
My head is already aching, my nose is bleeding, my eyes are watery and my back isn't ok while digging the open source of zmodem which we downloaded from the net. Why? Well below are the reasons:

1. I don't have enough knowledge. Yeah I admit I'm not really a good programmer who knows a lot about programming languages. I'm just willing to learn about them and how to apply them in my task. But once my task is finished, I already forgot them and must brush up my skills again if needed. wheeew!
2. Reading technical books and pdf files is not my type. Hehehe! yeah, I feel so sleepy whenever I read those. I'm more on coding first then scanning the documentation . And this is the first mistake I made on zmodem project. I dig the open source code first that's why I find it so hard to do the tracing since I didn't read first the document. Silly! hehehe!
3. Lack of experience. My previous project need not to understand the deepest code, just comparing the latest build from the old one and adding new codes. This is my very first project which we have to understand the open source.
4. Mood swing. Sometimes, I find it so hard to get my momentum on working and maintaining it. There are times when I am so focused on what I am doing then suddenly I just felt my mood changes. Hahaha!
5. Dependency on my team members. I'm guilty of it or maybe I was being pampered that if I don't know what to do, somebody will teach me and explain the details. But I guess it's part of the teamwork, likewise, I can't help but ask them so they are forced to teach me. Hahaha!

These are the problems why I find it so hard to carry my task easily. I don't know how I acquire those attitudes/habits. Well all I can promise is, I will still do my best and they will do the rest. hahaha! joke! Kidding aside, I will still do my best and let God do the rest. So programmers out there who experiences the same(or I am the only one who's like this?), all I can say is "AJAH!"