~Programmer's Blues~

OMG!!! (Just taking a break!)
My head is already aching, my nose is bleeding, my eyes are watery and my back isn't ok while digging the open source of zmodem which we downloaded from the net. Why? Well below are the reasons:

1. I don't have enough knowledge. Yeah I admit I'm not really a good programmer who knows a lot about programming languages. I'm just willing to learn about them and how to apply them in my task. But once my task is finished, I already forgot them and must brush up my skills again if needed. wheeew!
2. Reading technical books and pdf files is not my type. Hehehe! yeah, I feel so sleepy whenever I read those. I'm more on coding first then scanning the documentation . And this is the first mistake I made on zmodem project. I dig the open source code first that's why I find it so hard to do the tracing since I didn't read first the document. Silly! hehehe!
3. Lack of experience. My previous project need not to understand the deepest code, just comparing the latest build from the old one and adding new codes. This is my very first project which we have to understand the open source.
4. Mood swing. Sometimes, I find it so hard to get my momentum on working and maintaining it. There are times when I am so focused on what I am doing then suddenly I just felt my mood changes. Hahaha!
5. Dependency on my team members. I'm guilty of it or maybe I was being pampered that if I don't know what to do, somebody will teach me and explain the details. But I guess it's part of the teamwork, likewise, I can't help but ask them so they are forced to teach me. Hahaha!

These are the problems why I find it so hard to carry my task easily. I don't know how I acquire those attitudes/habits. Well all I can promise is, I will still do my best and they will do the rest. hahaha! joke! Kidding aside, I will still do my best and let God do the rest. So programmers out there who experiences the same(or I am the only one who's like this?), all I can say is "AJAH!"

~The Longest Comment~

First of all, I made this blog to acknowledge Ruby for this funny yet very comforting comment she has made on one of my entries. Why funny? because her comment is longer than my post. Hahaha!
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naku nelda, d ko man naiintindihan ang sinasabi mo, nauunawaan naman kita.

i have seen you many times, staring at your laptop monitor, typing on the keyboards so fast like your fingers have their own mind - knowing which keys to press one after another, once or twice tears would fall, you're too serious with whoever on the other end of that YM conversation that you have, so engulf with the emotion flowing inside you, unmindful of your surrounding and the people who could have been wondering what's going on with you.

you have been too involved with the situation, that is because you act what a friend should do. you tried to reached them, or him, because you feel it is what is asked of you. as a person, as a friend, you acted responsibly, easing the pain of a hurt person, comforting his grief. but remember that people who are in such state are either blind or deaf or even both that they've been impaired to perform right reasoning. it's not that he couldn't but wouldn't see the goodness you're trying to impart on him, and result to more misunderstanding.

this is very normal to high schooler. i don't think this should be the case when one have grown, specially, one who is out of college and now is working. for the sake of life, you have yours to live with. you know very well you have your own problems, worries and issues to handle and resolve. it is not like before that life could go on with families, schools and friends. your horizons has broaden. and so is his. he must learn to deal with it his way and on his own.

sometimes you just have to release his hand, and let him go. so he would grow and learn. it is perhaps that he is over reacting to all of this because you're giving the attention that he so wanted. that outcast thing is just a call for attention. it is not suppose to be a big issue or become a big thing. once told he is not an outcast should be enough. now it's his turn to do his part to rekindle the atmosphere of friendship with the whole group. he's the one to reach out with the group, not the other way around. and if the group or you is reaching for him, he must then open his arms and accept it without doubt that it is true friendship being offered.

i believe you have done your part, and there's nothing else you could do for him, unless he help himself and realize what he is missing. he is missing life per se.

ay ang haba na pala neto :D

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Thanks so much Ruby. I really appreciated it and I will do what you had said. Hope you'll always share your opinions here. muah!

~Bewilder~

These past few days, I've been in a great anxiety, hehehe! I know some persons who know me very well will just say "what's new?!". hehehe! But since this is my dwelling place, expect that most of my entries are more on emotional outburst.

Why is it so hard to deal what we called friendship blues? How will you handle a friend who seems to be in pain because he thought he's already an outcast to the group? What if you try to console him, explain to him, comfort him, you ended up hurting more his feelings coz he misinterpreted what you just said? You never intend to worsen the situation but it goes that way.

All I want is to settle the issue once and for all. I'm so sick of handling the issue again and again. Everything is a mess, all my plans didn't work. Sometimes I wish i haven't impose a goody goody image so that no person can go easy on me. hehehe!

Well, I think these are all I can do for them. And as for myself, I am beginning to learn the act of insensitivity. For those who know me well, would you mind answering my question. When I'm into a deep thought of the situation, I can't avoid to ask myself this: "Have I gone too far which worsen the issue?"

~Happy Birthday~

Feliz Cumpleanos Senyorito Frangy!

Ayan ka-age na kita...hehehe! Kunsabagay d nmn halata na mas matanda ako sau ng isang taon...hahaha!

I hope na maging soooper doooper bongacious ang birthday mo coz you deserve it. God bless you and more birthdays to come.

Happy Birthday din sa mga Octoberians na nagcelebrate at magcecelebrate pa lang ng birthday nila.

~Sasuke-Sakura-Naruto-Hinata~

Hahaha! Sobra lang ako nacutan sa animation ng pic na toh.
Well obvious nmn db napaka-fanatic ko sa naruto.
Adik na kung adik basta ako natutuwa. Hehehe!
Share ko lang sainyo toh.